Sleep With the Thug, Marry the Good Guy

Date Bad Boy

You Sex The Bad Boy Not Marry Him

Songs like this make me want to slap whoever writes them. Unfortunately too many women practice this kind of garbage. There’s a very simple rule to live by: You sleep with the thug. You marry the good guy.

And no, before anybody starts fussin’ I don’t literally mean a thug, I just mean a playboy, bad boy or however you want to refer to those men you know you have no business being with, though the sex may be good.

The lyrics are telling:

If I could… could forget him
I would… please believe me
And I know that I should throw the towel in
But baby it’s not… not that easy
You treat me so much better than him
And if I was sane there’d be no competition
But… but I’m in love with someone else
And I’m so sorry
I’m in love with another man
And I know it aint right

I can’t explain why it’s him and not you
But at the end of the day baby I just don’t want to
Cause he aint no doctor
And we always seem to fight, he got the perfect body
And sometimes he don’t even treat me right
Oh but when I’m with him, but when I’m with him
When I’m with him, aint nobody else like it
I’m so sorry baby that I have to do this to you
But I can’t go on pretending…
Cause I love him, I love him
And I’m so sorry… do you hear me?

Who the hell leaves a doctor for some guy who doesn’t treat you right, you argue with, and isn’t going anywhere? What…because you love him…yeah…okay. That isn’t love Sullivan is singing about. That’s lust mixed with a healthy dose of stupidity.

The kind of “love” Sullivan is singing about will have you knocked up, alone, with an STD while your man is off “loving” someone else. No woman in her right mind leaves the man who has been good to her, taken good care of her, is looking to marry her for the guy who the only thing he has to offer is that he has the “perfect body” and can blow your back out.

The difference between being a grown woman and still thinking like a child is knowing everything that looks good (or feels good) to you ain’t good for you. If you’re thinking long term then you know Mr. Dependable always wins out over Mr. Feel Good. As a matter of fact it wouldn’t even be a competition.

Grown women know, even if you sleep with the thug, you don’t break up with the good guy. You get thug-boy out your system and you marry your man. While I don’t advocate cheating, I advocate stupidity even less. To any woman who would find herself in this situation I’d say: Grow the hell up. Your future is worth more than a good lay.



Published by

Brown Sugar

Lives in music, sits down to read like she’s at the Feast of Heaven, enters every room like a queen or a spy, reads faces the way a gypsy reads palms, knows sex the way a nomad knows the desert’s shifting sands, needs laughter to breathe, eats in celebration of taste, works joyously, loves uproariously, smiles insightfully, dreams delightfully.

6 thoughts on “Sleep With the Thug, Marry the Good Guy”

  1. Right on. Men do it all the time. They screw the loose chicks all they want and when it’s time to settle down, they want a good, respectable woman to marry & raise their kids.

  2. Nooo don’t try to school them! Let the chickens have their ‘bad boys’ and leave the good men for the rest of us. LOL but I’m kind of serious.

    I say stay away from the ‘thugs’ altogether. No sense risking pregnancy & disease b/c obviously these chicks aren’t making these guys wear condoms if the current stats are any indication.

  3. Damn! You are absolutely right!From the age of 18 till 21 I dated a thug. I was miss book smart and met this guy who I thought was wonderful–until his true colors showed. When dating a real “thug” you end up with real consequences and I suffered both emotionally and physically dealing with his stupidity. Now as a more mature woman I wish I could get those years back. I thought I knew everything as a teen but clearly I knew nothing. Now I’m with a grown man who treats me like a queen.

  4. I agree with myndseye, that yes men sleep with a hoe first, then marry a good girl. So true.

    I just feel like any woman that will choose some random ass dude over one that will do all but lick her feet and give her all she wants and needs, is a damn fool. Sure alot of women think in terms of love and adoration, but it ain’t that much love in the world where you aren’t thinking straight and choosing the better man. This ain’t no fairy tale, this is real life.

    Women need to play things smart when it comes to falling in love with someone. We get stuck in the honeymoon phase and don’t see things for what they really are, and always end up either getting hurt or hurting someone else.

    Great post!

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