Tell Him To Put A Ring On It
Last week we learned about the six guidelines for women to get married according to John T. Molloy and the research he conducted for his book, Why Men Marry Some Men and Not Others. That post focused on guideline 5: Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance.
This week I’m focusing on the #1 guideline women need to follow if they want to get married and that is to “insist on it.” Turns out, you have to tell the guy to “put a ring on it,” or it’s just not going to happen. When
When Mollow looked at men who had dated a woman for years and didn’t marry her and then turned around and married the next woman he dated after a very short amount of time, the difference was that the second woman made the guy commit early on in the relationship. She put it on the table that being with her meant marriage and after a designated period of time if he wasn’t proposing, she was walking.
Molloy readily recommends women being up front with their expectation of marriage, setting a date for the commitment to happen and then walking if it doesn’t:
If you meet a man who has had a long-term relationship, make it clear to him that if he dates you for a certain length of time, you’ll expect a ring. If he doesn’t understand that, you haven’t done your job. Don’t think his affirmative response to such a declaration is a precursor to his making a commitment. He’s strung many women along, and he may try it with you. If after six months you don’t have a firm commitment, leave.
Time is not on your side in the marriage lottery and Mollow stresses time and time again that wasting your time in a going nowhere relationship or with a man who isn’t looking to get married is marital suicide. Don’t do it to yourself. There’s no shame in leting your sgnificant other know that, “look, being with me means marriage.” If he balks at the idea then you know you need to keep it stepping and send him packing. To quote Beyonce: If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.
One thought on “Turns Out, You Should Tell Him to “Put a Ring On It””
“Why Men Marry Some Men and Not Others. ”
I dunno, I think this guy is only half right… a man will date a woman he has no intention of marrying for years and years because she will let him; but if that same woman demanded marriage up front from that guy, he would probably just dump her right away. Which would be for the best, since it would save her a lot of time in the end.
Yeah wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’ won’t get you anywhere, so if you do want to get married to a guy you’ve got nothing to lose by going ahead and telling him. If he bails then it wasn’t meant to be anyway.
But how often does a woman date a man she wants to marry to begin with? Obviously you don’t want to marry every dude you dated for longer than 6 months just because the marriage timer went off… If you do you’ve got much bigger things to worry about than being single.