Defending Domestic Violence
So, what I’ve been able to gather from the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation is that if a woman “escalates conflict” with a man then it is perfectly within the man’s right to beat the shit out of her. No questions asked. And I’m not speaking in hyperbole here. The recent results from a survey done of Boston area teens regarding the Chrianna situation suggest just that many believe domestic violence is okay:
Corcoran’s program, housed in the Commission’s Division of Violence Prevention, surveyed 200 Boston youth ages 12 to 19, between Feb. 13 and 20, using the Chris Brown-Rihanna case to gauge their attitudes toward teen dating violence; 100 percent of those surveyed had heard about the incident. Among the findings:
* 71% said arguing was a normal part of a relationship
* 44% said fighting was a normal part of a relationship
* 51% said Chris Brown was responsible for the incident
* 46% said Rihanna was responsible for the incident
* 52% said both individuals were to blame for the incident, despite knowing at the time that Rihanna had been beaten badly enough to require hospital treatment
* 35% said the media were treating Rihanna unfairly
* 52% said the media were treating Chris Brown unfairly
In addition, a significant number of males and females in the survey said Rihanna was destroying Chris Brown’s career, and females were no less likely than males to come to Rihanna’s defense.
On one hand saying Rihanna is equally to blame for her face being bashed in is taking the personal responsibility meme to its natural conclusion: whatever happens to you is ultimately your responsibility, regardless of what it is. Not only that but many men (and women) feel it’s their right to beat the hell out of a woman at the slightest provocation. One of my favorite comments so far:
….the problem is that we are not teaching our daughters to be accountable for their actions….The same way if someone breaks into your home even if he does not have a weapon, you are going to put a bullet in his ass. If a bitch slap you, treat her like [a man] and bitch [slap] and stump her ass.
So since one of my favorite bloggers take on the situation is that “It takes two people to create conflict and those two people participated equally in the escalation of a conflict,” I ask what’s considered “escalation?” Let’s concede that Rihanna slapped up on Chris Brown. Obviously, many people feel that that was reason enough for her to get beat so badly that she was hospitalized.
But what if she just looked at the text and then questioned him about it? Is that reason enough to get beat? What if she would have yelled and screamed at him? Is that enough to have your face smashed into the dashboard? How about questioning his authority? Is that reason for him to bite you?
The same blogger says, “Violence just don’t happen for the heck of it, something happened that made it reach up to such a point.”
How about the pregnant women who get murdered every year because their boyfriends or husbands didn’t want the kid? I guess the “escalated conflict” by getting knocked up and deciding to have the baby, huh?
Or the women who get smacked around because their significant other perceived they’d been “disrespected,” in some way shape of form and how about those chicks who have the audacity to disagree with their boyfriends or husbands…man they should just get their asses wailed on since they knew disagreeing would, “escalate conflict” and result in the royal beat down.
I’m seriously disturbed when there are so many justifications for beating a woman in generally and beating her so badly that her injuries required hospitalization in particular. When did we get here…again?
Was nothing learned over the past thirty years? Do we really believe that it is a man’s right to beat his woman for the slightest offense? I find all this quite sad and I will never cease to be amazed at how many women so readily agree with men when these type of incidents happen.
Is this the future I have to look forward to for my daughter? Are her future suitors going to believe it’s okay to smack her around if she steps out of line? I hope not, but after reading much of the commentary on the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation I’m not so hopeful.