Rihanna’s River Island Collection is Proof Positive Why Some Celebrities Should Stick to Their Day Jobs

So Rihanna was looking to add another hyphen to her already mutli-hyphened self. Pop-Star – Actress – Quasi-Model and Resident Bad Girl weren’t enough, she thought designer would be a nice fit as well.

And why not?

Celebrities have been killing it with fashion lines ever since Russel Simmons thought putting the words Phat and Farm together on some t-shirts would be a cool idea. However there’s always that celebrity whose foray into another artistic endeavor is a seriously bad idea. Unfortunately for Rihanna, her collaboration with River Island falls into the latter category.

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I get the appeal of a clothing line for both Rihanna and River Island. Rihanna is like a real live dress up doll. Ever since her stint as the best dressed non-model at Paris’ Fashion Week in 2009, she’s solidified her place as a celebrity fashionista. You look to see what Rihanna is going to wear next, just as much (if not more so) than what her next single is going to be.

Add her fashionista cred to her  status as a bona-fide, world famous pop-star, coupled with River Island’s place as a chic and edgy retailer for today’s modern young woman, and it’s easy to see why both parties saw this as a venture made in cash cow heaven.

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The problem is Rihanna’s style is uniquely Rihanna and doesn’t translate well to the masses. The masses who likely can’t pull off the fierce, modern, sexy, tomboy, borderline-expensive escort chic manages to pull off so effortlessly. Instead River island has delivered trashy, skanky, tomboy, cheap porn star style for the masses to consume in their attempt to dress a little like Rihanna

Not a good look at all.

Outside of the totally trashy look and cheap quality of the clothes – the other big question is where is anyone going to wear any of these pieces. Riahnna is a pop-star. Her job is to make forgettable music, and show up and be photographed at any number of events to promote said forgettable music.

So if Rihanna has three-quarters of her boobs out or has some cheek action happening in a pair of too short shorts, no problem. More Skin = More Pictures = More Pageviews = More Sales or at least More Exposure which will then leads to More Sales. Everyone wins. But regualr everyday, average chick can’t run around too many places with that amount of skin exposure, unless of course her day job is one where More Skin = More Sales…and we’re not talking of the music variety.

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The other pieces that offer more skin coverage are just so unflattering and ugly in their attempt to combine that sexy tomboy essence I can’t see anyone wanting to wear them for any reason other than Rhianna’s name is attached to them. And that’s the funny part about all of this – even though this has got to be one of the worst celebrity fashion lines released in the last ten years it is still likely to be widely successful. Hell some pieces from the line are already sold out on the website.

In the end, Rihanna is still Rihanna. She is a global phenom even if her music is about as memorable and interesting as a plain bowl of cold oatmeal. She’s managed to make millions convincing people to shell out their hard earned dollars for her forgettable records and cringe-worthy concerts, there’s no reason why she can’t convince them to shell out those same dollars for cheaply made and equally cringe worthy clothing.

More from River Island by Rihanna


Fashion Trends: Olympia Le Tan Book Clutches

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Olympia Le Tan Makes Book Clutches

Parisian designer Olympia Le Tan has taken her love of literature and married it to her love and fashion and designed these clutches based off some the most famous literary works the world over. Olympia has art in her genes, as she is the daughter of French illustrator Pierre Le-Tan.

She honed her skills at art school in Paris and at the young age of 19, she began work for Karl Lagerfeld in Chanel’s design studio. She then collaborated with Balmain and served as a DJ at some of fashion’s hottest parties. In 2009, she launched her first “You Can’t Judge A Book By Its Cover” book clutch collection and it’s been full steam ahead ever since.

You can purchase Olympia Le Tan’s book clutches from her website Olympialetan.com.

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Lady Gaga Has a New Fragrance and We Have All the Details

Do you want to smell like Lady Gaga? Truthfully I’d be afraid it would be some funky combination of red meat, duct tape and crotch. However, that’s just me. Someone wants to smell like the Madonna clone ’cause her new fragrance is finally here and is being described as “unique and innovative.”

From Fashionista.com:

• The fragrance is called Lady Gaga Fame and will launch in August.

• It’s the first-ever black perfume. Once you spritz, the liquid becomes clear. A Coty spokesperson said, “The soul of fame being black was the intellectual foundation of the color of the fragrance.” Of course. They actually had to invent some new technology for this black-hearted juice.

• For all you fragrance geeks, the way the notes are expressed is unusual, too. Rather than having top, middle, and basenotes, there is a “trampoline” structure, meaning the notes come out randomly.

• It will not actually smell like blood and semen, unless those bodily fluids smell like a combo of belladonna, incense, saffron, honey, apricot nectar, crushed tiger orchid, and jasmine sambac. (Though we’ve never smelled all those things together so for all we know, it smells exactly like blood and semen. Stand by.)

• The fragrance will come in three sizes, ranging in price from $19 for a rollerball to $79 for the “Ultimate Masterpiece,” a heavy bottle (see pic above) designed by Nick Knight. The egg-shape bottle is a direct homage to her Grammy egg-hatching moment, and the top looks like a gold claw.

• Coordinating black soap, body lotion, and body wash will be released after the perfume launches.

• Steven Klein shot the campaign which will appear in the September glossies. TV spots are in the works too, as well as the de rigeur online film, also shot by Klein.

• Gaga will be making retail appearances (TBA) and is planning a launch on September 13 at the Guggenheim in NYC. A rep said, “There will be theater…she’s not the kind of person who just shows up and says hello.” [Ed. note: Please don’t forget to invite us, Coty!]

• You’ll be able to find the scent in about 30,000 doors globally.

So will you be buying Lady Gaga’s new fragrance? I’m kind of over the celebrity fragrance thing. I mean, when Justin Bieber has fragrance you know all sanity has left the building. And as I’ve already pointed out, GaGa is just not celeb I see and think, “I want to smell like her.” So what say you Curvy Beauties – will you be lining up to smell like Lady Gaga come August? Or are you like me and think, “That’s cool, but I’ll pass.”