So often I hear from black women who have advanced or professional degrees that dating is hard out here for an educated black girl.

It seems there are many men who don’t find a super accomplished woman appealing. Or to be blunt about it, they’re just scared of a woman who may be smarter, more accomplished and (gasp) make more money they do.

So often however, when this topic comes up the men and their female apologists are quick to holler at the top of their lungs: THAT”S NOT THE CASE!!!!!!!  No they say, it’s the women who are the problem. These over educated sistas beleive their degrees should qualify them for wife status. They are leading with their degrees instead of being nice and flirty and smiling – ’cause of course we know that a woman needs to smile to get a man to say hello to her.

The truth is there are PLENTY of men who are intimidated by an intelligent, accomplished, successful woman. Many men want to feel like the King in their relationship an that can be difficult when their Quenn is better educated and making more dough than the King. There’s a reason why you see many successful, well off men with less accomplished women. The hot shot man cheating with his secretary, the nanny or his Argentinian mistress on his equally yoked wife is such a common occurrence we’re not even surprised by it anymore.

So yes, I think may black women are finding themselves at a disadvantage in the dating world when the step out in all of their educated, successful career glory. However I would ask if the guy who has a problem with ambitious, accomplished women is the guy you really want? I mean think about it: this guy feels so threatened by a woman who has her own that he would avoid them at all costs., why are you upset that he’s not talking to you? Is this the type of guy you really want?

I don’t think so.

Just as there are plenty of men who find the idea of dating a woman as accomplished than they are repugnant there are plenty who see that as a requirement in any woman they date. The intelligent ambitious gal is the one they want. They want a woman who can match their own fire and see that as an asset not a liability. These are they type of me you want to date, this is where you want to focus your energy. And if you feel you’re always meeting the guys who have problems with your level of education and success, you need to find other places to hang out.

It’s definitely not impossible to meet men who will appreciate you and appreciate the handwork you’ve put it to be successful, you just have to stop caring and focusing on the ones who don’t and put yourself in a position to find the ones who do.

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