Steve_HarveySo Mr Serial Divorcee Relationship Expert Steve Harvey has five questions all women should ask men when they are dating. While I dont’t agree with most of Stevy harvey’s brand of relationship advice I do beleive that his “5 questions,” are pretty on point. I’d epand the list a bit but these five definitley cover the basics:

1. What are your short-term goals?
Steve says this is a question you need to ask on the first date. “That’s important. You want to know what a guy’s working on,” he says. “You listen very intently. You use your investigative skills. You be smart.”

2. What are your long-term goals?
Every man needs to have a plan, Steve says. “They have to be different from the short-term goals,” he says. “If they’re not different, you have a guy that’s not really planning.”

Once you’re armed with this information, Steve says you can decide whether you want to attach yourself to his plan and take the relationship to the next level.

3. What are your views on relationships?
Family, friends, God … find out if these bonds are strong. Steve says a man’s relationship with his mother is the most critical. “If it’s nonexistent, that’s a red flag. If that bond has been tainted or broken, please know he has no problem tainting or breaking yours,” he says. “If you can’t love your mother, please know he is incapable of loving you.”

If you’re spiritual — and he’s not — Steve says you probably won’t be able to change him.

4. What do you think about me?
Steve says women should listen carefully to how a man answers this question. It may reveal a lot about the impression you’re making.

“He’ll gladly tell you this. ‘I think that you’re great. I think you would make a great mother. I think you would be a terrific homemaker. I think you’re very independent. I think you’re very worthy,’” Steve says. “He’s going to tell you all of this stuff.”

5. What do you feel about me?
Once you have the answer to the fourth question, immediately ask the last one on Steve’s list. In most cases, how a man feels about you will be very different from what he thinks of you.

These are questions that are great to ask if you’re at the point where you need to decide whether the relationship is going somewhere or not. I think in most cases 4 and 5 answer themselves, but there are plenty occasions where the signs arent that clear and you need a direct answer.

I would add that whatever answer you get for 4 and 5 you need to beleive it. Don’t go second guessing what was said or trying to fit it into whatever you want him to mean. Take the man at face value – good or bad. You’ll be much happier for it.


steve-harveyI haven’t read Harvey’s latest book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, which is apparently a treatise for all us young and single gals who are out and about looking for love. I’ve heard Harvey speak on relationship topics before and his advice usually consists in some form of, “keep your panties on, be docile and submissive, but have your own ish ’cause no man is looking to take care of you.” Or something along those lines.

Here’s the deal: Any man who starts his “advice” from a stereotypical traditional patriarchal point of view that assumes a woman is the sum of her body parts isn’t worth listening to. You worth is not tied to your vagina and the only time being submissive and docile are worth your time is if that is who you are naturally. The only time you lose your self respect as a woman when dealing with a man is when you allow him (or anyone) define who you are and what you’re worth. The only time you need to seek relationship advice in a book is if you’re so clueless on how to relate to the opposite sex that you need some basic rules to follow and even then you’re best asking your girlfriend who has her ish together.

I’m a fan of common sense advice. The kind that allows you to make smart choices based on what you want, what you need and who you are, not on who society (or Steve Harvey) thinks you should be. The sooner women realize that “The Prize’ isn’t your goodies, but your mind body and soul, the better off your relationships will be and the need for advice from a relationship book will be unnecessary.

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