“I’m a good Black man.” A friend of mine said to me in the car one day. He was auditioning to be my bed buddy this particular night and this was our first official almost date.

I didn’t respond. I remember thinking, whatever his next words were going to be were going to piss me off in the same manner his declaration that he only liked “red girls” already had.

“I’m a good Black man,” He says again. “I’m in school, I have a job and I don’t have any kids.” He continued will a heavy amount of pride and arrogance in his voice.

So, I thought. All you need to be a good black man is to be in school (he was working on a masters), have a job and not have any kids?

Really?

Last I checked those were minimum basic requirements. Apparently I was wrong. As a fellow colleague of a homegirl of mine said, “As long as black men aren’t walking around spreading feces on their face their deemed exceptional.”

That made me laugh, but her point was that a reasonable articulate black dude, who has gone and taken some college classes (optional) and is gainfully employed is considered a “good” man.

And it’s true. I’ve heard so many women say to their girlfriends, “Girl you should keep him. He’s a good black man.”

Mind you he good be barely employed, have a couple of kids by a couple of women, be somewhat articulate, but as long as he’s employed and hasn’t been in the criminal justice system then he’s a-okay.

Usually the determination of a black man being “good” involves a combination of the following:

1. College educated
2. Not college educated but
3. Employed
4.Doesn’t have kids or
5. Has kids but takes care of them

If the man in question has any three of the five he’s deemed good and definitely marriageable and therefore worth holding on to for dear life.

But I’m with Chris Rock when it comes to this kind of thinking: When did we start giving brothers cookies for doing what they’re supposed to do?

Last I checked any of the five above are minimum basic requirements. Those are just starting points where I might be willing to listen to your pitch as to why I should even think about giving you my number. And in my world, college educated is a must and it’s not good enough for you to just be employed. You need a career, not just a job.

Why, as black women, are we willing to accept so little. I know plenty of men who offer the bare minimum in the way of the five above, yet walk around like they’re the best thing since sliced bread; that I should be grateful that they took the time to bless me with their presence.

Yeah. Okay.

Too many sisters won’t accept anything less than greatness in other aspects of their life, but when it comes to men, as long as they’re not spreading feces on their face, then who cares if they don’t have much to offer. The minimum will do.

These low expectations we place on black males aren’t a good thing. We handicap them from birth and have too many believing mediocrity is greatness. And for those who are truly great, too often their attitude is so horrendous because they buy into their own hype, you don’t want to be bothered with them.

Enough is enough already. Anytime I hear a brother proclaim how he’s a “good black man,” I just roll my eyes. I know the next words out his mouth are usually, “but I can’t find a good black woman.”

Translation: I can’t find a woman who will live up to my unrealistic expectations even though I’m hardly bringing any of those qualities to the table myself.

So the next time a brother tells you he’s a, “good black man,” call him on it. Ask him what makes him so good. If all he can give you is the minimum basic requirements let him know you don’t give your cookies to guys simply because they do what their supposed to do.